I was happily married twelve years ago from today in Jamaica, a very beautiful Caribbean island. Getting married was a dream come true. I married a guy from my high school, so I thought he was a safe catch. After many years of wanting to be married and not finding love and wondering what’s wrong with me, I settled on a solution and that was him. The feeling was mutual as he told me “I better take what I can get.” Believe me, I wasn’t flattered. Suffice it to say, this was not the best relationship.
Both of us were kind of settling and we both knew that we had different missions, different visions coming into this marriage. I mean, seriously? I asked him what his vision and goals were, and they were different from mine. At that point, we should have been like, maybe we should rethink this relationship, but we were just like, okay, that’s your vision. This is my vision.
His vision, I’ll share it since that relationship is over. His vision was to have a companion, someone to live life with. And I thought, okay, that’s great. I didn’t mind being his companion. Great! As a wife, yeah, I’m your companion.
My vision was, I wanted someone to do the will of God with. I have a call on my life, and I wanted somebody I can do that with, someone who will be with me and support me, and I can support him in his will and his vision and his call for his life. And God’s will, we do God’s will together. That was my goal.
Can you see these two goals were not at all matched? But I thought, well, if he needs a companion, I can do that. I don’t know what he thought about my vision. I felt like he was like, yeah, I can support you because we were talking about books that I wanted to release and things like that. And he was like “I’m gonna be supportive” in my music and my art and my paintings.
So my thought was that even though these two visions were different, that they could fit together, that I could manipulate these two directions and these two paths and that they would work out. But that’s not what happened. So that’s part one. I’m gonna come back with more. These are the diaries of my divorce.
God bless, Shirah Chante, Relationship Artist
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